Filed under: toilets
People get away with too much when their sensitivity to social peril trumps moral and ethical obligations to biological function. Specific, yes, but perfectly captured on the faces of people fleeing single-occupancy unisex bathrooms in restaurants, schools, and other public spaces around the world. People know shame, and on some level I suspect the fecal flee-er is running away from disgust at his or her own inability to properly defecate.
5 out of 6 humans should be eliminated on the basis that they cannot correctly sit their ass down.
But someone does clean up the mess. And while you might think (yes Ms. Pink Dress at 10:48am) that it’s someone else’s job to clean up the heaving septic maw, certainly less time would be spent cleaning up your mess if you just let someone know. Or if, you know, you didn’t try flushing your pad.
An embarrassingly high bar is set for humans.
While I would like to think there is a shared social standard for public defecation (please, shit how you want in your own home), I think the issue is complicated immeasurably by the stigma attached to defecation. Perhaps every step in a direction away from the public bathroom strips a degree of obligation from the conscience of the progenitor – fleeing his or her biological creation disparages human baseness in a a kind of proactive biological commentary. And you don’t have to clean that shit up.
On the subject of toilets – I present you with the toilet snorkel, which Inconsult would have you believe works as an aqua lung in the case that you’re stuck in a burning building or in the event of atmospheric dispersal of an airborne pathogen. 
If you can survive the embarassment of being found by a rescue team huffing sewage fumage – fine – but you better get things sorted with the people shitting all over your emergency plan.
